Michelle Obama Desperately Seeking To Be "First," But Certainly No "Lady" by Doug Wrenn

Michelle Obama Desperately Seeking To Be "First," But Certainly No "Lady"

By Doug Wrenn

September 10, 2007

She's at it again. Where is that long cane when you need it, that one used from behind the curtain to snag and yank really bad acts off the stage? In her obsessively, narcissistic and never-ending attempt to redirect the spotlight from her husband onto herself, Michelle Obama's endless diatribe of seething stupid remarks, while dubiously trying to support her target of those remarks, her husband, is creating a black stain on the race to the White House.

First of all, I have a real big problem with all the pomp and power granted to First Ladies, and if it turns out that way, ditto with a "First Husband." These spouses are nothing more than tag-alongs on the coattails of the President, and we, the American people, have to pay for their daily needs and expenses. That's a pretty audacious burden for the people to assume for the benefit of someone whose name never even appeared on the ballot.

First Ladies are not elected to anything, nor does the Constitution give them any power to do anything. They are nothing, zip, zilch, zero, nada. We puff them up perhaps because we love royalty and never quite cut our ties from Mother England. Or maybe it's just because we're star crazy, numb-brained idolaters, incessantly exemplified by all the attention we so often give to the dysfunctional tart of the week, be it Paris, Lindsey, Britney, Nicole, or any of the degenerate Hollywood whores and bimbi with glitzy smiles, blond hair from a bottle, and stick figure shapes created by a combination of anorexia and/or substance abuse. Let's face it; we just love obsessing over the absolutely insignificant. The producers of the sitcom, "Seinfeld," made a mint by capitalizing on that realization.

The lemmings of the left praise Madam Obama for being an outspoken, strong black woman. Outspoken means crossing lines, and she has. That's no virtue. Continually ripping her husband apart on the public stage is the abuse of strength, and being black is something no more or less to be proud of than being white. None of us has the choice of our skin color. So let's cut through all the euphemistic, trendy residue that is usually deposited from the south side of a common barn animal.

Michelle Obama does nothing for blacks or for women, and anyone with a brain can see that, if anything, she hurts both groups. For that matter, she does nothing for family values. She's like many women I have known, bragging about the little trophies of their ego that they gave birth to, while constantly badmouthing the male half of that family and biological equation. Michelle Obama is a bitter, pushy radical feminist. Like it or not, families include the dreaded husband/father. The now-happening but shallow trend of man-bashing is not a virtue, either; it's very much a flaw, magnified greatly in a presidential race, where all warts are seen.

So far, Mistress Obama has publicly ridiculed her husband for leaving his dirty socks around the house, not putting the butter back in the refrigerator after breakfast, making his bed worse than their kindergarten-age daughter, having big ears, which like his skin color, he had no control over, and a funny name, which she married into, an endeavor that she very much had control over.

In her latest gem, The Mistress of Mouth gave this statement about her kids in an interview to Glamour Magazine: "My hope and my gut is that I am just Mommy. We have this ritual in the morning. They come in my bed (emphasis added), and if Daddy isn't there-because he's too snore-y and stinky, they don't want to ever get into bed with him. But we cuddle up and we talk about everything from what is a period to the big topic of when we get a dog: what kind?"

Some people have commented on how intelligent and well educated Michelle Obama is. I don't care. The woman (not lady) has no class. With regard to intelligence or lack thereof, it bears repeating, she has no official position if her husband gets elected. I don't care if she's a genius or a clinical idiot. But how she carries herself, if she ever does become "First Woman," will very much influence how the US is viewed around the globe. As one of the taxpayers paying for this unelected freeloader to potentially live off my dime in the White House, I'm just a little disturbed about that, given her conspicuously errant behavior in this world of instant global 24/7 communications. .

While putting aside her trusty whip momentarily, this debasing Democrat Dominatrix attempted to clarify, if not excuse, her litany of inane and cutting remarks about her husband by saying that no one should deify him. I don't buy it. Let Barrack try to humanize himself. When he does it, it's self-deprecating humor, a welcome virtue when not overdone. When his supposedly trusted lifetime soul mate does it, and does it over and over again, and each time, with more vigor and vitriol, it's defiling, and it's betraying. If Bill Clinton was to do that to Hillary, he'd be expeditiously buried next to Vince Foster, and who knows, maybe even Norman Hsu in the not too distant future. For all her theatrical bravado, a shrinking violet Hillary didn't know what to do when a subtly more aggressive and apparently far more genuinely confident Congressman Rick Lazio stepped off his podium and physically got up into her face during their famous senatorial debate. That little move cost Lazio the debate for daring to invade the personal space of what suddenly became poor, demur and defenseless little Hillary. There is a double standard between the sexes so foul in this country that it makes New Haven Harbor at low tide smell like roses, and not the ones from the Little Rock law firm, either.

And Michelle Obama's flagrantly gratuitous remark about a period, and presumably, not the kind used for punctuation, was also over the top, and typical, pushy, in-your-face, feminist shock talk, said in a way veiled to be mainstream. Her statement of many conversations with her children was succinct enough without elaboration. There was a time in my life when such topics were graciously taboo from polite and public conversation. Somehow, everybody got by OK. We need aspiring First Ladies, or in the case of Obama, "First Women" cavalierly discussing such intimate details like we needed political pundits graphically trying to define "sex" for young and impressionable ears and eyes viewing the 6:00 news during the Clinton/Lewinsky trysts.

I don't know if Michelle and Barrack Obama sleep together or not, and I don't care. Yes, even in 2007, that really is their personal business. With our deteriorating culture, shame and modesty are apparently as existent now as the dinosaurs. But even if they don't sleep together, as a married couple, the Obamas both own the same house, each room, and each stick of furniture. There is no "his" or "hers," and there is no "my bed" or "your bed." It's still "our bed," regardless of which room it is located, or how many occupants it nightly accommodates. I find it hard to believe that "slip" was any accident. Obviously always having to maintain the upper hand in a marriage meant to be about equals, this B-52 Obama had to drop another subtly veiled, passive/aggressive bomb. Personally, I seriously wonder if this woman, besides just being plain cold, mean and nasty, but with a conniving smile, might also have "issues," to use the current, trendy psychobabble parlance. Make no mistake about it; this was another attack on her husband, for whatever reason.

"Snore-y, stinky" stands on its own. I doubt any of us are particularly appealing in a variety of ways at 6 am. This domineering primma donna, who better seems to fit the role of an African Queen rather than a First Lady, is showing her tendency to create a division, between her children and her husband, and again, the graphic was as gratuitous as it was ludicrous and wanton, and again way too much information. Michelle Obama, despite her education and alleged intelligence, is nevertheless the poster child of the adage, "Better to close one's mouth and be thought of as ignorant, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." Real intelligence extends farther than any textbook.

Life is about lines. Some are bold, and some are faint, but we try not to cross them. I don't buy Michelle Obama's rhetoric that she is trying to make her husband look human. She crossed that line long ago, too often, and increasingly too aggressively. She is trying to raise herself up by putting him down, which is a pretty pathetic bio of her. Yes, presidential candidates need to appear human, but they also need to appear presidential as well. Michelle Obama does her husband more harm than good, and gives self-defeating but valid reason for voters to question the strength and leadership skills of this man who wants to lead the free world, and has already been compromised by accurate criticisms of being inexperienced and possibly entering a presidential race too early in his career. If Michelle Obama wants to loudly bang her drum about being a strong, outspoken black woman, then fine, she has that right, too. She can also throw her hat into the ring, and put her overblown ego and her super-sized yap where her money is, otherwise, she needs to step back, shut up and smile a lot. That, and maybe later taking on a do-gooder charity, is what First Ladies, and in Michelle Obama's case, First Women, are supposed to do, like it or not. She can officially run for President, or, much to my chagrin, she can unofficially run for First Lady/Woman, but a First Heckler we don't need, not in the Oval Office, and certainly not on the world stage. And to the extent that such shenanigans should even occur, Barrack is also doing himself damage by not reining his maverick wife in, and being publicly submissive to her. Leaders aren't wimps. If Barrack Obama cannot handle Michelle Obama, what inspires any confidence in the electorate that he will have what it takes to stand up to and deal with the likes of real tyrants like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Osama bin Laden, or Kim Jong Il, just to name a few, or for that matter, Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail?

It's beginning to appear that dignity and grace among aspiring First Ladies has gone the way of white gloves and hats. I can't help but think that Michelle Obama watched Teresa Heinz Kerry four years ago and actually liked what she saw. Their mutual compulsive paths toward the spotlight however, are slightly different. While both women have created self-made trademarks of publicly demonstrating that they are consummate big-mouthed jack asses, oblivious to boundaries, and bereft of any class, at least Teresa Heinz Kerry possessed enough self-confidence to hog the spotlight without feeling it necessary to put her husband down to elevate herself.

The Democrats and their minions never cease to amaze and entertain me. Hillary, despite her trademark, strident, glass-breaking, vulture-like screeches and shrieks, cowered from Rick Lazio, and failed to keep Bill either contained, or apparently satisfied. Barrack Obama so passively accepts his wife's constant abuse that she should be renamed "Berate Obama." For that matter, if conservative pundit Ann Coulter said of John Edwards what Michelle Obama says of her husband, the Democrats would be screaming as much bloody murder as Elizabeth Edwards when she has to defend her husband, poor little Johnny Edwards, when that big mean bully, Ann Coulter picks on him. Thank radical feminism, now prominent in the Democrat Party, for the societal emasculation of (some) men, as well as the decay of our families and the weakening of our nation. And some of you people honestly and actually want these pathetic wusses and losers, some of whom California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger would rightly call, "girlie-men," to run our country during wartime?

Ideally, our leaders, both those we elect, and those with whom we are stuck in the unwritten but sadly socially accepted package deal, lead by example. If Michelle Obama, a mortal human being, as flawed as her husband or anyone else, so wishes to feign family values, than she can start by not just harping about her kids and how much of a stellar mother she supposedly is, but also by sharing mutual love, reverence and basic respect for her husband, and the father of her children, just like he is also duty bound to extend to her by their sacred marriage vows. "What's good for the goose is good for the gander," as the old saying goes.

By the way Michelle, speaking of all things being equal, you are as gawky as you are crass.

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

(Winston Churchill)

Doug Wrenn