Strategic Idiots by Doug Wrenn

Strategic Idiots

By Doug Wrenn

May 17, 2008

Vladimir Lenin referred to liberal, naïve westerners who served his cause either knowingly or unknowingly as "useful idiots." Given the obvious envelopment of sheer ignorance plaguing most of our citizenry and most of our government officials, particularly regarding the misuse of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, I surmise that Lenin would have called this gaggle "Strategic Idiots." But much like a rose by any other name, idiots are still idiots, but in this case, they're dangerous idiots.

The Democrat-controlled US House and Senate both passed legislation to decrease shipments to the Strategic Petroleum Reserve for the rest of the year in order to help lower the price of retail gasoline.

What these idiots fail to realize is, that the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, or SPR, is in place and overseen by the Department of Energy to provide crude oil to the US in the event of any major national emergency, be it natural or man-made, that could disrupt domestic oil production. In other words, it's there to keep our homes warm, our cars running, and above all, our armed forces mobile and ready. Yet for years, every time prices of gasoline or home heating oil go up, liberal politicians of both parties, and most usually, 3rd District Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro, start screaming about tapping into the SPR like it's the nation's Wal-Mart. Yes, the libs are at it again, wasting instead of conserving, and undermining our military.

Our ditzy, inept and utterly clueless Governor Rell sent a letter to the US House of Representatives (Here she goes again!), asking the House to cut back on shipments to give consumers relief at the pumps. That's nice, Jodi. That 10-cent gas holiday you denied us would have given us some relief, too, you flagrant hypocrite. Governor Rell, to paraphrase an exasperated President Lincoln to his overly timid and lethargic commander, George McClellan, if you're not going to use the Governor's office to lead our state, then may I please borrow it for a while?

Sadly, somebody heard her. The Boy Wonder of the Congress, Mr. Christopher Murphy, himself, the dimwitted dreamer who recently tried to enact a 3 strikes crime bill for the State of Connecticut via the halls of the United States Congress.

The geographically challenged lad from the Forlorn Fifth District seems as confused about the SPR's purpose and US sovereignty as he is about the difference between states' rights and the constitutional function of the federal government. Apparently in a case of the blind leading the blind, or the ditzy leading the oblivious, the newly elected Congressboy co-sponsored the House version of the bill cutting shipments to the SPR. In part of a news report I heard on the radio, a beaming Murphy, commenting on the bill, was quoted droning on about some drivel of a global nature. He's got a nice smile, but the kid's not too bright. His geography deficit aside, he was elected to the Congress of the United States, not the United Nations. Mr. Murphy would do well to rub elbows with another kinsman from the old sod, commonly known as "Rand McNally."

Worse yet, according to Murphy's Congressional web site, in a survey he conducted, roughly 75% of respondents favored his action. If this country incurs a major disaster tomorrow, what most of these lemming, clueless sports sycophants and "American Idol" fans don't realize is, that gas at 4 bucks per gallon will be the least of their worries.

The Coroneted Congressman from the 1st, John Larson, decided to take the 5th. He didn't even vote on the matter, but came out with a real whiz-bang statement defining the vote, in which he claimed that we currently have plenty of oil in the reserve if anything happens. Larson also cited that we have the largest reserve in the world. We do, but that aside, by what criteria did Larson make that inane remark? We have plenty of oil, but for how long, and under what circumstances? Does he have some access to a crystal ball and some tea leaves that I'm not privy to?

Down in the Thundering Third, "Rose-Colored Glasses" DeLauro, AKA: "The Wicked Witch of the South," who also views the oil reserve as a big liquid ATM, also voted for the bill, as did the Secluded Second District's Joe Courtney, who miraculously found enough time to vote during a brief pause in which he wasn't still patting himself on the back about protecting the 8 Mile River. Meanwhile, while Murphy was still gleaning about his potential new law, Queen Rosa the Socialist said, "Let them drink oil," "Johnny Absent" was hypocritically waxing philosophic about how he would have voted, "8 Mile Joe" switched gears from oil back to spewing about water again, and Shay's Rebellion was reincarnated down on the Gold Coast's Phony Fourth District when the Panhandle Progressive Himself, Mr. Chris Shays, AKA: "The Last of the Republicans," but more like, the "Last RINO Standing," again forgot what party he belonged to and once again voted with the party he obviously wishes he belonged to. Thus, as per usual, the Connecticut House Delegation, separated by parties, but joined in ideology, all banded together once again to lean hard left, by a vote tally of 4 yeas, and 1 "coulda-shoulda-woulda."

Meanwhile, in the so-called "upper chamber," The Prodigal Politician, "Homeless Joe Lieberman," whose party abruptly left him just before he all but left the party, seemingly forgot who barely put him into office in desperate times for the second time of his Senate sinecure. Yes, Jumping Joe also voted for cheap gas over national security. (I'm sure old father Franklin would sagely admonish that he "deserves neither.") But that's OK, because he supports the war in Iraq, wink, wink, nod, nod! As for the "former Senator from Iowa," Chris Dodd, fresh off the hustings, and nestled back home with the wee ones and young Mama, but soon to be back out on the road again, stumping for Obama, also gave the measure a yea, but it really wasn't his fault. Our senior Senator is indeed getting a little long in the tooth, and his barstool buddy, Teddy Kennedy, is truly a bad influence on him. One could easily surmise that when the clerk, calling the roll call for the bill, said, "Less oil," the Senator from the State of Inebriation instinctively reacted in typical fashion when he thought he heard, "Last call!"

Something is dreadfully wrong when President Bush asks Saudi Arabia, our fair weather ally that imported 19 terrorist hijackers to the US on September 11th (thank you very little), pretty please, extra nice with sugar on top, to make more oil for us, while here at home, the Strategic Idiots from the shallow halls of Congress and the big tarnished dome in the wild west frontier town of Hartford are undercutting his efforts, and "environ-mentally-challenged-alists" are denying US drilling rights to the US, but are instead feeding our oil off the Florida coast family style to China and Cuba like they were hungry stray cats that wandered into a PETA convention. Meanwhile, while Dubya, the alleged leader of the free world, is doing his cat imitation by rubbing up against the legs of the Saudis and purring contently while hoping to get petted with a nice, oily perk, (Hopefully, he's not holding hands with any male royal members in embarrassing photo ops again!), young Master Murphy, once again all full of himself, is again defiantly crafting his words to the President with such brazen phrases as "I demand." Manners, now, Master Murphy, mind your manners. Again, what is wrong with this picture?

According to the DOE's web site, such a reserve was also considered by our government during the latter part of World War II in 1944, and again in 1956 during the Suez Canal crisis. President Ford finally enacted the bill creating the SPR in 1975, after the oil embargos of the early 70's. Since then, the SPR was tapped because of Hurricane Katrina in 2005. These are the types of and magnitude of reasons that justify why the reserve exists, and when it should be tapped.

The moral of this sadly true fable bears repeating to the clueless clowns in the Congress, the "American Idol" fans of the 5th District, and the rather pleasant but not overly bright lady from Brookfield who is daily chauffeured to and fro our Capitol in Hartford, (thus further adding to the gas crisis), wearing a sweater, but would do us all a favor if she instead stayed home and knitted one for a change. The SPR has a specific purpose: to sustain the energy needs, both domestic, as well as military for the people of the United States in time of national emergency. It is not there to fix a broken market that inept government leaders ignore, and corrupt government leaders make worse. It is not a liquid piggy bank for the poor, and no, not even for Connecticut's indigent in the wintertime. It is not a government entitlement. It is not a slush fund like Social Security, and it is not an alternative to kissing babies to garner votes from a constituency too obviously distracted or just plain stupid to know much if anything about how their own government runs in what is theoretically a representative republic that they control. (May God help us!)

Wasteful spending of revenue and the dilution of our Social Security fund have long ago proven that money cannot be left in the hands of the government. To paraphrase P.J. O'Rourke, it's about as wise as leaving a bottle of whiskey and a set of car keys with two teenage boys. Now we know that we cannot even trust the government with oil. We could then well conclude that we cannot trust the government with anything. As for the American electorate, they have once again proven that they should never be underestimated for their naiveté, myopia, ignorance, or dare I say, stupidity, as well as for their trademark apathy. Meanwhile, the radical far left socialists, now running the Congress, and the one world order globalist fat-cats, who are now pretty much running our entire country, are all smiling like Cheshire cats. After all, their "strategy" is working, and once again, the "idiots" are doing all the work.

The sage adage is true that those who are ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it. I can't help but think that right now in cemeteries throughout our nation, our great forefathers are rolling from anguish in their graves. But in a particular mausoleum in Moscow, the original "Leninist" is quietly gloating.

Doug Wrenn