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Just Suppose . . .
By Tim Siggia
September 26, 2003
Just suppose there were a former president of the United States who wanted more than anything to be president again -- who would sell his very soul for another stint in the White House (and probably did for the two he already had). But alas, he's term-limited -- unless, of course, he can find a way around the U. S. Constitution, which he isn't above trying to do.
Now just suppose there were also a retired general, who also wants to be president, and this general served under the former president and is well liked by him -- a curious situation, since this former president had also stated in writing that he loathed the military. And just suppose that the former president, shrewd conniver that he is, sees a way for the both of them to get what they want. In a scene reminiscent of the serpent talking to Eve, the former president approaches his pet general.
"Look, I know you want to be president," he begins, "and I think I can help. After all, I've been there and done that, and I can do a few things for you."
"Like what?" the general asks.
"Like for one, you've got a lot of competition, but let's face it, they're all lightweights. I have the contacts, the organization, and the experience you need to put you at the head of the pack. I can practically guarantee you'll get the nomination. As for the election, well, we will have those pesky Republicans to deal with, but here again, I've been there before. They're a split party, as we both know, and I can work on that wedge to divide them even more."
The general listens intently. If there's one thing he knows about the former president, it's that he knows how to pull off elections. But the general is no fool. He also knows the former president would not be helping him were there not something in it for himself.
"So what am I to do in return for this favor you're offering me?" he asks.
"Just help yourself, really," the former president says in a devious voice. "And you can do that by listening to me and heeding my counsel. After all, as I said, this is something I've done before, and I know how it's supposed to be done. You can benefit from my experience -- and you'll look great, believe me, I'll make sure of that."
The general considers this. As already noted, he did not get to be a general by being a fool. He knows what the former president is really saying. And he also knows that it will not do, once he is elected, to suddenly become his own man and go his own way, for he has seen what happens to those who try to thwart this former president, to those who stand between him and what he wants. But if he plays ball, he could end up being president, in name, at least. And the former president gets to be. . .
Well, as I said, this is all supposition -- because, as we all know, no former U. S. president would ever, ever, EVER so much as even THINK of doing anything like that.
Right?
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