Radiofree West Hartford - MID-TERM ELECTIONS, OR, SEND IN THE CLONES by Tim Siggia

MID-TERM ELECTIONS, OR, SEND IN THE CLONES

By Tim Siggia

July 29, 2006

C'e na luna mezzu mare, Mamma mia me maritare.

Figlia mia, cu te dare? Mamma mia, pensiace tu?

Se te piglio pisciaiolo, issa vai, issa vene, sempre lu pesce mane tena.

Se c'i 'ncappa la fantasia te pesciaria figghiuzzia mia!

For those of you who don't speak Italian, the words above are from an old Italian folk song which is staple fare at weddings and other Italian get-togethers, and is often sung in movies such as The Godfather which feature such events. Some of you around my age might recognize it as a song made famous by the late Lou Monte back in 1956. Roughly translated, a young Italian girl is contemplating marriage, and talking it over with her mother. The mother warns her, "If you pick the fisherman, he'll go and he'll come, always with the fish in his hand -- and if he gets an idea in his head, he'll fish you!" In subsequent verses, Mamma gives similar warnings about the policeman and his baton, the fireman and his pump, and so on. Exasperated that the men, according to her mother, all seem to have only one thing on their minds, the girl finally asks her mother to find a girl for her to marry! (Don't get all excited, you people up there in Massachusetts. It's only a joke, not a gay-marriage anthem.)

So what does an old Italian folk song have to do with mid-term elections in Connecticut? More than what might appear at first blush (which, by the way, the song, with its constant double-entendres, is fully intended to evoke). Once again, as it is every four years in this People's Republic of a Blue State, it's, "Send in the clones!" This year we have a double-feature, just to keep us from getting bored: a Senate race featuring liberal Democrat vs. liberal Democrat vs. liberal Republican, and a governor's race with the same character makeup, albeit a different cast of characters. In the Senate race, if we pick Sleepy Joe, we'll get the same thing we've been getting for the past eighteen years. If we pick Ned "Cut-And-Run" Lamont, we'll get a liberal posited even further to the left. And if we pick Alan "Come-On-Seven" Schlesinger, a.k.a. "Alan Gold" -- well, Doug Wrenn already covered that subject quite adequately in his last column, and it would be redundant of me to go any further down that road. So, as in the song, we're left with nothing but bad choices. And while much is being made of Sleepy Joe's "conservatism", Ned Lamont's seeming sole message of, "I'm Not Joe", and Schlesinger/Gold's lack of candor, to put it politely, the real problem here remains unaddressed. Hence, this column.

Connecticut is a small state in every sense of the word: small in area, small in population, and small in its political attitudes. Too small, in fact, to accommodate or even tolerate more than one political viewpoint. It's a state that preaches diversity, but draws the line at politics. Nothing short of political uniformity is considered acceptable here. Anyone who doubts that need only pick up a newspaper or turn on either a radio or television set. The political ads are inescapable. We have Ned Lamont presenting himself as the "Real Democrat" (as if any Real Republican could possibly disagree, but then, we have few of those here, none of whom are in public office), and Joe Lieberman fighting back with his ads, which say, in effect, "I'm just as liberal and Democratic as you are, Ned, plus a little more experienced." Ho-hum, say the conservatives.

But the point here is not who the "Real Democrat" is or isn't, but rather, the central theme of all this: Sleepy Joe stepped out of line. He fell out of lock-step. And that, in the minds of Democrats, is unforgivable. Joe Lieberman actually dared to have his own mind on the issue of national defense! And Ned Lamont couldn't just stand by and watch that happen!

It's almost amusing to hear Democrats lecture us on tolerance and diversity when we grumble about the RINOs in our own ranks. Why, you racist, bigoted, homophobe, backward, weed-chewing, NASCAR-watching Neanderthal rednecks ought to be able to be more inclusive and accommodating, so they tell us. But just look and see what happens when the tables are turned! Joe Lieberman, a lifelong liberal Democrat, is now reviled as being in bed with George W. Bush on everything from the war in Iraq to Social Security. The reaction among Democrats: Joe must go! So says the regular succession of polls that show Lamont gaining steam and actually leading among Democrats against their own incumbent. In other words, Lieberman's real crime here isn't that he's conservative. Well, he is by Connecticut standards, but by those standards anyone to the right of Michael Moore qualifies. He's liberal -- but not liberal enough! What we apparently need to represent us in the Senate is an out-and-out leftist of the Alec Baldwin stripe. Enter Ned Lamont.

The governor's race is just as bad. The current governor of Connecticut is a Republican, but you'd never know it by her political stances, especially on social issues. M. Jodi Rell, successor to John Rowland, who, in Connecticut, has come to make Richard Nixon look like Mr. Congeniality, stepped up to the plate after Governor Nixon -- I mean Rowland -- got caught with his fingers in the pie. At that point she adopted the mantle of Ms. Ethics, with the voters having experienced a sort of collective amnesia with regard to the fact that she had been Rowland's lieutenant governor for more than two full terms. Then came the revelations about Rell's staffer, M. Lisa Moody, and her lack of discretion, shall we say, with regard to campaign finance issues. Quite ironic, considering that Jodi Rell, as governor, enacted Connecticut's own version of campaign finance reform. What seems significant, if perhaps irrelevant, to me, is the initial, M., that precedes both their names. Does it stand for the same name in both cases. Oh yes, of course: it stands for "Moderate."

Not only did Jodi Rell give us campaign finance reform, she also gave us gay civil unions and state funding for embryonic stem cell research, both of which flagrantly violate the tenets of most religious communities in Connecticut. But then, this is a not-to-worry consideration for Jodi Rell, whose real religion, like that of all Connecticut politicians, is liberalism. You would think a liberal of Jodi Rell's stripe would be a gift sent from heaven, or whatever it is liberals believe in in that regard. But no, once again, even Rell is not liberal enough for some in Connecticut. Enter John DeStefano, or, as Doug Wrenn calls him, "DeSocialist," who would remake Connecticut with his own brand of Hillarycare. Universal Health Care will cover everyone in Connecticut, whether they need it or not, and it won't cost the taxpayers a penny! That's because Big Business, specifically Wal-Mart, will pick up the tab. Yeah, right! Anyone want to take a guess what Wal-Mart and who knows how many other businesses will do if DeStefano is elected? As one accordion-playing satirist put it on WPOP about 15 years ago, it'll be, "Goodbye, Connecticut." And, as in the Senate race, DeStefano is the challenger to the party-endorsed candidate, Stamford mayor Dannel Malloy, who stands for -- stands for -- well, he wants to be governor, anyway.

Hey people, these are the choices. Anybody see a common thread running through all of them? Does anyone hear any of these candidates calling for things like tax cuts, reductions in spending, or term limits? Is even one of them pro-life on abortion, or in favor of school prayer or the Pledge of Allegiance? Only one favors strong national defense and school vouchers, which makes Joe Lieberman the "conservative", and supposedly cancels out his stands on other things like abortion, affirmative action, and the Flag Protection Amendment.

Ironically enough, it is an icon of the left, folk singer Pete Seeger, who said it best in a song he sang some forty years ago:

Little boxes on a hillside,

Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,

Little boxes, little boxes,

And they all look just the same.

There's a green one, and a pink one,

And a blue one, and a yellow one,

And they're all made out of ticky-tacky,

And they all look just the same.

Seeger, of course, was singing about houses in a suburban development. But his words are equally applicable to Connecticut's politicans, who, like the houses of "Little Boxes", which came in different colors, come with labels like Democrat, Republican and Independent. But let's face it: at heart, they're all, as Seeger says, made out of "ticky-tacky". They're all of the same liberal stripe, all on the same political page, all marching like an army of one-legged soldiers to the beat of the same drummer, with the same liberal cadence: "Left. Left. Left, Left, Left!"

So the mid-term elections are upon us once again.

Send in the clones?

Don't worry. They're here.