HYPOCRISY THY NAME IS ... ACLU by Jan Ireland

HYPOCRISY THY NAME IS ... ACLU

By Jan Ireland

September 22, 2003

I visualize the ACLU lawyers sputtering, as soon as they read that title. Like a vampire reacting to the Cross, I'd expect them to shield themselves from the Biblical word thy. They could say the basis is separation of church and …namecalling, maybe? They've separated church from everything else in America. Everything else, that is, except Democrat politics.

Ex-president Bubba was at the First African Methodist Episcopal Church in Los Angeles recently. On a Sunday - that's a church day. In a city called Los Angeles - that means the Angels. (Los Angeles, start printing up new stationery. As soon as the ACLU learns the Spanish translation, your days are numbered. That Meg Ryan film with the Angel name, set in Los Angeles, has to change too. Oh, and give the capital city, Sacramento, a heads-up, 'cause they're in the cue.)

The ACLU seems fine with Bubba striding into the pulpit, though some say the pulpit will never be the same. They seem fine with him delivering the political message from the pulpit - the recall of Gray (actually Joseph Graham, but Gray is a more photogenic name, apparently) Davis is bad for democracy. Why, you people employing a lawful, democratic, voice of the people choice? You're just playing into the hands of the demonic Republican power grab. Hmmm. What's the percentage of Republicans in California, and if they had the numbers for a power grab, wouldn't they already have done it without the uncertainty of a recall election?

In the past, the ACLU onomatopoeia has been separation of church and state. They found it right there in the Constitution. Though it isn't actually in the Constitution. (It appeared in a letter Thomas Jefferson wrote to a religious society, a decade after the Bill of Rights were ratified.) Which leads me to wonder. Do you have to be an actual lawyer who has passed a bar, to be in the ACLU?

The ACLU has weighed in on the recall issue in California. They got their brothers in Christ, oops, no, their brothers in activist liberalism, to issue an edict. And a decree went out from ACLU Augustus, that all shall be stopped. (Clear throat.) That the recall shall be halted.

They've recalled the recall?

It must be Michael Moore's Stupid White Men. No, it's minorities. Minorities and people of color. Oh, and poor people. All of them won't be able to find the polling places, or figure out how to read a ballot with so many names. Or, unholiest of unholies - use a punchcard ballot. (Genuflect.)

Hey, didn't they just have an election a few months ago with those same unusable machines? So, Gray is not legally elected is he? When is he stepping down?

Uh oh. Does that mean all the elections in America, where punch card voting machines have been used have to be reheld? I don't think the Democrats, I mean ACLU, want that. They come into more disrepute every day. If we redo some of those last elections, they're going to lose even more seats.

Hmmm. So how are they parsing religion and politics - that's church and state - after they've sued everybody and his brother on that particular basis?

Hmmm. It would take chutzpah, but there's a way they could do it.

They could admit they've been wrong all these florid years. They could admit that, no, separation of church and state is not in the Constitution. They could admit that the First Amendment actually means what it says - that Congress shall make NO law respecting the establishment of religion, or the free exercise thereof. And they could stay the h*** out of religion.

Hah. Do you really think the hypocritical ACLU will do that?